


[Inu] Reboot

by InuShiek, RisenWritings



Series: Every Exo Does It [1]
Category: Destiny (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Exhaustion, Friendship, Insomnia, Memories, Memory Loss, Recovered Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-09 02:37:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12267186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InuShiek/pseuds/InuShiek, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RisenWritings/pseuds/RisenWritings
Summary: Every exo has a number after their name so that they can be distinguished from their past selves, and Cayde-6 is having a hard time resisting the temptation to move on to Cayde-7 when he starts having dreams and remembering things that he'd really rather not deal with.





	1. Dead on His Feet

**Author's Note:**

> *jazz hands* this is absolutely the longest thing I've written in years. I'm a sucker for Cayde though, so this just kept snowballing.
> 
> [Exo Destinypedia](https://www.destinypedia.com/Exo). inspired by Cayde’s idle line of “I’m here! I’m awake! I’m all ears.” and the Destiny lore that exos and Hunters have difficulty sleeping. AND “You know there’s a 6 after my name. Ever catch yourself wonder what the other yous were like?”
> 
> This mostly (I think) jives with canon Destiny 1. I tossed in a bit of D2 stuff toward the end, but really I tried to make this lore-friendly. 
> 
> I've got a sequel planned, but that'll be a little while in coming. I think this sits just fine with a "teen and up" rating, but let me know and I'll change it (or mods can change it). I think this rating fits though?
> 
> EDIT: After the Warmind DLC dropped, a bit of hidden lore revealed/confirmed that exos have to reboot when their mind begins rejecting the frame. "exo mind rejection" I believe was the term the game used. I believe the rejection could still manifest as dreams, memories, or physical glitches/problems b/c the mind is realizing/remembering that it no longer in its original body. So dreams and flashbacks it is~!

"Ikora, have you read the latest reports from Io?" Zavala asks, holding a data pad out to the Warlock.

Ikora takes the offered pad and quickly browses the report. "It looks like the Taken are attempting to remove the Vex presence.... What could be so important for them on Io that they'd want to go through the trouble of ousting the Vex?"

"Cayde, have your scouts- Cayde!"

The Hunter's head jerks upright, and he flings himself away from the table he'd been leaning heavily against. "Huh, what? I'm here! I'm awake. What?"

"How long have you been asleep?" Ikora asks, frowning. Cayde is normally flippant with his duties as a Vanguard, but outright dozing off is new.

"What? No I wasn't asleep," Cayde-6 smiles, waving a hand. "Those small parties of Cabal on Titan are probably trying to sneak a peek at the wave energy converters. Simple. Next report."

Zavala and Ikora both raise brows at the Hunter.

"That report was resolved four reports ago," Zavala bites out. "Sleeping on the job is unbecoming, even by your standards."

"Ouch, you wound me, Zavala," Cayde pouts. "I'm telling you, I wasn't asleep. I just zoned out for a bit. Won't happen again."

The Vanguard continues sifting through reports to build a cohesive picture of what their enemies are doing when Cayde begins snoring.

Ikora and Zavala stare disbelievingly at the exo who is still standing, albeit he is leaning against the table so it supports much of his weight. His head is even still upright, though his optics are dark and shuttered while his mouth flickers faintly with his soft snores.

In a rare mood, Ikora elects to throw a spare stylus at the exo to wake him up.

Cayde-6 jolts, optics flaring over-bright as he draws his knife reflexively.

The exo blinks, quickly realizing what had happened. "What gives?" he asks grumpily as he shoves his knife back into its sheath.

"You were snoring," Ikora states flatly, refusing to allow her concern to reach her voice.

Cayde's jaw works wordlessly. He knows he can't lie his way out of this if he was outright _snoring_. "Sorry, must have actually dozed off that time. I'm up. Not happening again, I promise. Where were we?" he asks, pushing away from the table and beginning to slowly pace a short path back and forth. He can't fall asleep if he's walking.

"Cayde-"

"It won't happen again. I just had a late night," Cayde interrupts Zavala, smiling brightly with mischief. "You know me, always at the bar until odd hours."

The Titan grumbles, but the three Vanguard get back to work. Cayde never ceases his pacing, and he doesn't miss the concerned glances from both Ikora and Zavala.

 

* * *

 

Zavala grunts, frustrated with himself. He had woken in the middle of the night as a Guardian, still riding an adrenaline high, had ran down the hallway shouting her new exotic weapon's name for all to hear. His Ghost informed him that it was 2:00 am. Zavala really should reconsider his proposal to stop the Cryptarch's activities at a reasonable hour.

_That_ train of thought started the Titan Vanguard thinking about other proposals he knew were awaiting review at the morning meeting, and he could not settle back in to sleep the final few precious hours of the night away.

Eventually, his Ghost tells him that it's 3:00 am, and Zavala heaves a frustrated sigh as he climbs out of his bed. If he's going to be awake, he may as well get some work done.

Zavala quickly dons his armor and makes his way to the Hall of the Guardians where he can begin reviewing the queue of proposals. It never hurts to review the agenda in advance so that he is not blind-sided by any. He passes a scant few on his journey- mostly cleaning and maintenance personnel.

He certainly does not expect to find anyone in the Hall itself.

Least of all Cayde-6.

The exo doesn't appear to notice that he's no longer alone in the darkened Hall. He remains bent over the table, scrolling through a data pad and mumbling quietly to himself. In the darkness, the lights from Cayde's mouth cast eerie yellow flashes across half of the table.

"Is this why you keep falling asleep on duty?" Zavala asks, startling the exo.

“Whoa! Hey, Zavala, fancy meetin’ you here!”

Zavala frowns, making it clear that he’s unimpressed by the Hunter’s dodging of his question.

Silence reigns for several moments as the Titan takes in the neat pile of data pads flashing green- indicating that the messages they contain have been read, replied to, and resolved.

The pile that was not present at the official end of Cayde’s shift the previous afternoon.

“Cayde.”

The exo blinks owlishly, the action somehow even more prominent in the dark. “Zavala.”

“Why are you here?”

Cayde grinds his jaw stubbornly. “Why are _you_ here?” he asks, uncaring if it’s immature.

Zavala steps further into the Hall and closes the heavy doors behind him, sealing the two Vanguard away from prying eyes and ears. “I was not the one falling asleep on duty. What is going on? Are you alright? Perhaps we can-“

“You can _what_ , exactly? Give me a warm glass of milk and tuck me in? Doesn’t have the same effect on robots, big guy.”

With a sigh, Zavala approaches the defensive Hunter. “Cayde, I know we do not always agree with one another, but I want to see you well. Something is bothering you to the point that it affects your work-“

“My _work_ is just fine. I’ve actually been taking care of _your_ backlog,” Cayde grumbles, waving one pad in particular in the Titan’s face.

Zavala hums a quiet acknowledgement. He’d suspected Ikora to be the one responsible for the mysteriously completed work, but in light of this discovery of Cayde working during off-hours, he can’t say he’s surprised. “So you have, Cayde, but this cannot continue. You worried Ikora and me today when you could only remain awake by pacing.”

“Aww, I’m touched,” Cayde says, optics flicking around the room nervously. “I’m just burning the midnight oil. That’s all.”

Rubbing his brow, Zavala sighs in defeat. “Cayde, you aren’t fooling anyone with this charade, but you must have a reason for trying to hide the true cause. I won’t press further, for now, but you _can_ talk to either myself of Ikora. You realize that, don’t you?”

Cayde’s gaze finally focuses directly on Zavala before he speaks, his voice somewhat more mechanical than usual, “I do, but there’s nothing to discuss, Zavala. Goodnight,” he says, brushing past the Titan in his rush to escape this uncomfortable conversation. The Hall was where he’s most productive, but he can always go climb to the top of the Speaker’s wing and observe the Traveler until the sun rises. By then, no one will question his presence in the Hall.

Zavala watches the exo leave, frowning. He hadn’t been lying when he said that he’d been worried. Cayde-6 has always been known for playing loose with the rules and shirking some of his duties until the last possible moment, but the Hunter has been dead on his feet lately. Even the Postmaster has noticed it and asked Zavala about Cayde’s wellbeing the last time he’d visited her.

Pressing thoughts of Cayde aside and trusting the Hunter Vanguard to handle the situation, Zavala moves to the head of the table to begin browsing and studying those proposals.

 

* * *

 

“Cayde!”

“What?!” the exo gasps, optics flaring online and darting around the room.

Ikora crosses her arms, frowning, “You were drifting off _again_. Zavala and I can handle things here. Take the rest of the day. _Rest_ , you stubborn fool.”

Cayde waves off her concern. “Nah, everything’s good. Just trying not to blow a bulb is all. I appreciate the suggestion though.”

“It was not a ‘suggestion.’ I will take this to the Speaker if you force my hand. We cannot have a Vanguard dead on his feet.”

“Isn’t that why we have Ghosts? Resurrection and all,” Cayde smiles.

“ _Go_ ,” Ikora orders sternly, leaving the exo no room to argue.

Cayde still considers it for a moment, but eventually raises his hands in surrender. “Fine, I’ll leave, but don’t come crying to me when this place falls apart without me,” he manages to tease, turning on his heels and leaving the Hall of the Guardians. Instead of going to his quarters for the rest Ikora had “suggested,” he makes his way to the hangar bay. It’s been a while since he’s pestered Amanda.


	2. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cayde swallows his pride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's almost an adult through this part

Zavala stirs, groaning when a knock on his door drags him to wakefulness. “It’s…Cayde,” his Ghost tells him, sounding surprised.

He groggily rises from bed and makes it to the door. Shaking his head to clear the remnants of sleep, he opens his door. Cayde’s optics are dimmed, and he offers an apologetic smile to the Titan.

“Cayde?”

“Hey…. you said I could talk to you… Does that offer still stand?”

Blinking in surprise, Zavala nods and moves to allow the exo to enter his room. Cayde nods his thanks and slips into the dark space, easily finding a chair and dropping himself into it. It’s been a week since Ikora kicked him out of the Hall to get some rest, and Cayde’s exhaustion has only gotten worse. So far she hasn’t followed through with her threat to drag the Speaker into this, but he suspects the Warlock is not far from it.

Zavala locks the door and sits on the edge of his bed, as it is the only other available seating in his quarters. It’s smaller than most would expect a Vanguard to occupy, but Zavala enjoys his space and feels that it is all he needs. “Would you like some tea?” he asks, knowing better than to push the exo to immediately speak about what’s bothering him. Better to break the silence without going straight to the point.

Cayde studies his hands for a moment before he swallows what remains of his pride. He’s already here, he may as well make the most of it. “I’ve been having dreams,” he says, voice so faint it’s almost static to Zavala’s ears.

“Dreams?” Zavala prompts.

“We were built for war, you know,” Cayde begins again, never lifting his gaze. “No one knows exactly when or which one, just that we were. Some of us remember bits and pieces. Flashes, really, but nothing solid. Sometimes…. I can remember eating food. _Tasting_ food.”

“As…a human?” Zavala asks, leaning forward. Cayde has made brief mentions of this before, but the fact remains that exos are largely a mystery. He isn’t going to pass up on the opportunity to glean more from the other Vanguard.

“Maybe. I think so…. I remember being a soldier offered a job, then…. But….an exo is what I am now. Frame built for war. We…. We dream of the Crypt. Just more flashes and snippets. It’s like a word on the tip of your tongue but you can never quite think of it….”

“What is this ‘Crypt?’” he asks, genuinely curious.

Cayde’s optics meet the awoken’s eyes, searching for something. “It’s…. We think it’s where we were built. If that’s true- and that is a big ‘if’ because who the hell knows- if we were built there, and if we were originally organic life, it’s where….” Cayde looks away again and interlocks his fingers, thumbs nervously rubbing across knuckles. “The Crypt is where whoever we were before died and we were reborn or rebuilt. Whatever.”

“Cayde…”

“I normally don’t dream about it,” the exo presses on, afraid if he stops speaking that he won’t start again. The words keep trying to stick in his speakers. “Hunters and exos don’t sleep much, so exo Hunters are the paragons of insomnia. When I _do_ sleep, though, I usually don’t dream about the Crypt or the past.”

“But you have been recently,” Zavala guesses, and Cayde-6 nods. “Are these more nightmares rather than dreams?”

“No! I mean…. I guess. Yes? I don’t know….” Cayde fumbles. “I guess it feels familiar or almost like home at the time. As soon as we wake up we usually begin losing the details of the dreams so everything is perpetually fuzzy. It can drive us to distraction.”

“Like a word on the tip of your tongue,” Zavala echoes the exo’s earlier words, beginning to understand. “That must be…maddening.”

Cayde huffs out a humorless laugh. “Like you wouldn’t believe. The thing is…..” Cayde trails off before he shifts to press the heels of his hands against his optics and prop his elbows on his thighs. “The thing is, once we start dreaming of the Crypt as often as I have been, we’re usually getting close to needing a reboot.”

Zavala’s mouth opens, but no words come out. He tries again, “A reboot?” the Titans asks, sounding strangled.

“So I’ve been sleeping less and less,” Cayde presses on, still hiding behind his hands. “Like maybe if I don’t sleep so I can’t dream, maybe I won’t need a reboot. You can see how well that plan is working, and I’m starting to consider it.”

Shocked at the thought of Cayde-6 becoming Cayde-7, Zavala is silent as he attempts to process all that the Hunter had just told him. To truly not know his origins and then be plagued by dreams that hold no real answers is something that Zavala truly did not suspect Cayde to be subjected to. What’s more, those tantalizing dreams can be the herald for being forced to reboot to escape them. The exo’s systems suddenly give off a worrisome series of sounds, pulling Zavala from his thoughts.

“Say _something_ ,” Cayde says, almost pleading but still unwilling to lift his head from his hands. He’d been at his wit’s end before finally coming to Zavala, and the last thing he’d expected was silence after finally admitting out loud that he’s considering a reboot just to escape from his dreams.

Zavala shifts, reaching forward to rest a hand on the exo’s shoulder. “Cayde, I cannot truly understand what you are going through, but I would like to help, if I can. Are you seeking my opinion?”

“Yes?” Cayde answers weakly, making a sound that resembles a shaky sigh.

“May I ask more questions?” he presses carefully, receiving a subdued nod. “Why do these dreams of the Crypt typically herald the need for a reboot?”

“It can lead us down a rabbit hole best left unexplored. I’ve… I’ve seen some exos who chase the rabbit and it doesn’t go well for them. It can cause an obsession. I mean, who wouldn’t be tempted to learn who they were, where they came from, and what they are now? I…. I keep finding myself wondering if I can remember what food tastes like if I concentrate, why can’t I remember something else if I just try hard enough? I’ve distracted myself from that so far, but I worry every time I see the Crypt in my dreams that I won’t be able to resist anymore,” Cayde admits, the words feel heavy, somehow. Like finally voicing them makes his fears all-the-more real. The fact that he’s voicing them to _Zavala_ certainly doesn’t help.

“And what exactly does a reboot entail?”

“They wipe us. We’re as much of a clean slate as we ever were. We can walk and talk, we usually remember our trade- Banshee never truly forgets his weapons expertise even if he needs a reminder, and we usually still remember a few faint wisps, but we forget pretty much everyone and everything else.” Cayde finally lifts his head, optics whirring to focus on Zavala’s face. “I won’t remember being a Guardian, much less the Hunter Vanguard. I won’t remember you, Ikora, or even Andal. Clean slate.”

Zavala rears back, eyes widening. He’d known that a reboot involved memory loss, but he’d never imagined it was so complete. Andal had been one of Cayde’s closest friends. To be willing to give up those memories and essentially become a blank slate and a new person…. These dreams must be haunting indeed. “And that’s not…. painful for you?”

Cayde’s systems seize for a second, but he recovers quickly. “I mean, the idea of losing everything hurts like hell now, but it won’t. Not after. There is an initial curiosity, you know? ‘What was 2 like? Am I anything like 4? Did 5 like playing cards as much as me? That woman recognized me but I didn’t remember her. Which Cayde did she know?’ But really, you learn to tone down the curiosity because there was a _reason_ for that reboot, and curiosity only risks needing another reboot. Let sleeping dogs lie,” Cayde sighs, averting his gaze from Zavala’s near-horrified expression. “Most of us…. We feel freed after a reboot, for the most part. We get to start over.

“The thing is,” Cayde continues, standing and beginning to pace in the room. “I like what I’ve got here. Yeah I wish I could be out in the field, but I’m doing good here. I’ve got great friends. I feel like I’m making Andal proud. I want to keep this going as long as I can, but I keep remembering what spicy ramen _tastes_ like. I keep getting flashes of pulling a car into the driveway of a house I think I should recognize. I keep wondering what the hell made me decide to get downloaded into this frame. I keep wondering if I _didn’t_ decide this. _I keep seeing the Crypt_. Shit!”

The exo slams his fist into the wall, and he rests his forehead against it. “Sometimes….. Damn it, Zavala, sometimes I even….. I get these glimpses of the Collapse itself. Crushing darkness and just….” Cayde shudders, his metal plating audibly clattering. “I don’t want to remember that. It’s suffocating,” he whispers, feeling both liberated and humiliated at these admissions.

Zavala registers Cayde’s words, but he can’t process them. If he tries, they won’t get anywhere else tonight. The mere implication that Cayde lived through the Collapse-

“Is there no way to ward off the dreams other than remaining awake?” the Titan asks quietly, forcing his mind to delay thinking about Cayde’s revelation.

The exo pushes away from the wall and plops himself heavily back into the chair, making it creak in protest at his weight. “There are some tricks some exos have come up with,” Cayde rubs his optics, sighing. “None that I’ve been able to try have really worked.”

“Such as?”

“Drinking, but we don’t get intoxicated. Workouts, but that just makes me sleep and dream longer. Some have their Ghost sleep on or next to them, but I keep batting mine away by mistake. I’ve tried a couple dozen others,” Cayde shrugs. Zavala doesn’t need to hear them all.

“And what haven’t you tried? Because I do not believe you remaining awake or rebooting are great solutions to this problem, Cayde.”

“Some Guardians claim that a death or two can ensure a good night’s sleep, but I tend to get new memories when I die and res so don’t want to try that one. After becoming the Hunter Vanguard I heard that sleeping while your ship is in FTL can help, but I can’t leave the Tower to try that one. Some sleep beneath an oil bath, but I can’t waste that much oil or Amanda may permanently kill me. Spacing yourself is supposed to help, but that…. sounds a lot like the Collapse to me.”

Cayde’s Ghost materializes next to him before he can continue. “And sleeping together!” the mechanism pipes up cheerfully.

“Hey!” Cayde snaps, carefully capturing his Ghost within the cage of his hands. “How many times do I have to tell you? It’s ‘sleeping next to someone else’ and not ‘sleeping together.’”

“They mean the same thing, Cayde,” the Ghost protests.

“No, they don’t, buddy. And this was a private conversation. You promised you wouldn’t listen in.”

The Ghost twists inside Cayde’s hands, peering up at him. “You damaged your hand. I needed to check on you.”

Cayde’s jaw works soundlessly, but he finally lets out a begrudging grunt. “Fair enough. Now shoo, and I mean it this time!”

With a sigh, the Ghost nods as much as it can while trapped in Cayde’s grip. “Alright, but, for the record, I don’t want Cayde-7.”

“Noted,” Cayde bites out.

“And ‘sleeping together’ means the same thing!” the Ghost shouts before childishly disappearing again before Cayde can respond.

The room is silent for several moments before Cayde laughs, “I’ve been trying to explain the difference for ages. He just can’t understand that ‘sleep’ doesn’t always mean _sleep_ \- Ah damn it!” The exo curses, leaping up from the chair. “You need rest, and here I am whining. I shouldn’t have woken you.” Cayde makes his way to the door, but hesitates before unlocking it.

“Uh… Thanks, for listening… Can this stay between us? I mean Ikora’s already forced me off-duty, people keep giving me weird looks, and Banshee gave me _the look._ If it could not get worse, that’d be great.”

“Cayde,” Zavala calls, and he’s sure he just saw the Hunter flinch. “This isn’t the answer, and you know it.”

Cayde’s hands clench into fists and relax several times before he quietly speaks, “It’s the only one I’ve got, Zavala. Maybe it’s just my time to go and let 7 have his time in the spotlight.”

Zavala stands and crosses the room quickly, grasping the exo’s shoulder and turning him to face him. “I don’t believe that, and neither does your Ghost. Deep down, you don’t believe that either. Otherwise you wouldn’t _be_ here- you would have already rebooted,” he insists, his gaze softening as he makes his decision. “We have a busy day of meetings and strikes tomorrow, Cayde. You need rest.”

Cayde’s mouth glows bright with a frustrated growl, “I can’t-“

“So,” Zavala continues, interrupting the exo, “Come lie down.” Zavala returns to his bed and settles down, letting Cayde make his own decision. He can leave and force himself to continue the same exhausted cycle, or he can come lie down and try getting some rest next to another person. Truthfully, Zavala hopes that he will choose to lie down. If the exo leaves, Zavala knows he’ll be forced to chase after Cayde and try to convince him to try another method of keeping the dreams at bay, but the Titan is tired, and sleeping may be the best way for him to avoid his own thoughts for a while. He still isn’t prepared to think too carefully on some of Cayde’s revelations.

Cayde stands frozen at the door. He watches Zavala settle himself onto his mattress and pull his blankets back up around himself as if he hadn’t just suggested that his fellow Vanguard lie down with him. “Is this a joke?” he finally asks, half expecting the Titan to drop a shield wall or something to block him if he tries to approach.

Zavala inhales deeply. “No, Cayde. Jokes are your domain. You are tired, and this is the most readily available option that may offer you the opportunity to get some meaningful rest. How long has it been since you’ve _really_ rested?”

The Hunter takes a step toward the bed before he realizes it, and he freezes again. “Too long. A year maybe.”

Trying not to let his shock reach his expression, Zavala gestures to the empty space beside him. “Too long indeed. Lie down.”

Cayde considers for several long minutes, and Zavala begins to suspect that the exo is going to make a run for it. Eventually though the Hunter begins cautiously making his way closer to the bed.

“If I do this, you definitely won’t tell Ikora, right?”

Zavala peers up at Cayde as he circles around to the empty side of the bed. “Why are you so adamant about keeping Ikora in the dark?” he asks. He watches Cayde’s jaw work for a moment without a sound as he tries to respond.

“I just figured she…wouldn’t understand. I mean,” Cayde pauses to look at the Titan. “You don’t _really_ understand either, but awoken are sort of mysterious. I just thought you’d…. get it better than she would.”

Zavala hums an acknowledgement to Cayde’s point, but doesn’t otherwise respond.

The Hunter is finally leaning down to rest his hands against the bed. He carefully rests more and more of his weight on the mattress almost as if he’s worried it will not support him. “I snore.”

“So you demonstrated during our meeting with New Monarchy several days ago.”

“Right,” Cayde says, averting his gaze again. Finally, he swings a knee onto the bed and hauls himself up. He gingerly settles himself onto his back beside Zavala. “Even if this doesn’t work…. Thanks.”

“You are welcome, Cayde. We will find a solution,” Zavala assures him, closing his eyes at last.

Cayde sighs, trying to relax into the mattress. “I hope so,” he murmurs softly, his mouth barely flashing in the dark room.

“We _will_ ,” Zavala insists, reaching over to give the exo’s arm a comforting squeeze. “Do you need blankets?”

Cayde turns his head to look at the Titan. “Nah, we make our own heat, and you’re warm enough next to me as it is,” he teases with a small smile.

Zavala chuckles quietly, “Get some rest. I will be here.”

“Yeah, sure,” the exo murmurs, allowing his optics to fade offline to sleep voluntarily for the first time in weeks.

Zavala smiles when he almost immediately hears faint, static snores from the exhausted Hunter.


	3. Late Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cayde and Zavala wake up, and Cayde doesn't quite know what to do with himself.

Zavala wakes feeling heavy. Groggily, he opens his eyes to find that Cayde has shifted overnight so that his head and one arm are draped over the Titan’s broad chest. Even though his face is turned away, Zavala can tell he’s still asleep by the quiet snores.

The Titan summons his Ghost, who informs him that he’s half an hour late for his shift and has three messages from Ikora. “I thought it was better to let both of you sleep,” the Ghost says, so quietly that Zavala almost can’t hear.

Zavala begrudgingly agrees. He’d rather have been to the Hall of the Guardians on time, but his leaving may have disturbed Cayde. He views Ikora’s messages, finding the first to be angry and unanswered, the second to be worried but receiving a response from his Ghost explaining the situation, and the final message is filled with relief and understanding. “Cayde won’t be pleased that you told Ikora. How long-“

“You’ve both been asleep for four hours. Cayde’s Ghost said that’s the longest he’s slept at one time in…. months.”

Zavala stares up at his Ghost in disbelief. “Months?” he echoes, shocked.

Cayde’s own Ghost materializes above his slumbering guardian. “Thank you for sleeping with him, Zavala.”

The Tian groans, raising the hand that isn’t trapped beneath Cayde to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I believe you are doing that on purpose.”

The Ghost’s shell shifts into the closest approximation of a smirk that it can manage, “Maybe.”

Cayde shifts, burying his face into Zavala’s chest. The Titans takes the exo’s horn sharply in his side and he grunts, reflexively flinching away from the hard point of contact. Somehow, Cayde slumbers on oblivious to the world.

“Send a message to Ikora,” Zavala begins addressing his Ghost. “Tell her that we may be here a while.”

“Acknowledged,” the Ghost says, his tone warm.

 

* * *

 

Cayde slowly comes to awareness, bleary. His systems are slow to start up, but their bootup is smoother than it’s been in ages. His frame is warm, and the ache of exhaustion is absent. Systems keep softly pinging full functionality at him, and he’s happy to let himself drift like this for a while.

Until he realizes that his pillow is breathing.

Last night rushes back to him, and he figures out that he’s half lying atop Zavala. He feels a sharp pang of embarrassment, and chooses to quickly deflect with humor. “Maybe I should have taken that blanket. I had to steal your body heat.”

“How are you feeling?” Zavala asks, surprised to note that Cayde only slept a total of six hours despite his chronic exhaustion. Perhaps “paragons of insomnia” was not an inaccurate description of exo Hunters after all.

Cayde flops himself off of Zavala, and he squashes the brief regret at the loss of warmth. “You know… I feel really good, actually.”

“No dreams?”

Cayde lazily rubs at one of his optics, trying to encourage a stuck shutter into motion again. “Not… like what I’ve been having,” Cayde admits, blinking to make sure everything is as it should be. “Didn’t uh…. Didn’t mean to lay on you. At least I can’t drool though, huh?”

“I am just glad that you may have discovered a method of keeping the dreams at bay that works,” Zavala says honestly. “But do try not to let it get that bad before you seek help again.”

“You offerin’?” Cayde jokes, laboriously sitting upright in the bed. He’s stiff after sleeping for so long. “How angry is Ikora that you’re late?”

Zavala hesitates to answer and stalls by also sitting upright. The silence stretches on a beat too long, and Cayde turns to him.

“That mad, huh?”

“Well…”

Zavala’s Ghost appears between the two Vanguard. “I told her why and she was very understanding.”

Cayde stares, optics whirring fitfully. “You are as bad as my Ghost,” he finally says, burying his face in his hands. “Note to self: add you to the ‘never trust these Ghosts’ list.”

The Ghost huffs and bumps itself into Cayde to get his attention. “She’s been worried about you. We all have been. I didn’t give her details, just that you came to talk and wound up falling asleep and trapping Zavala.”

The exo flinches, but he tries to hide it by standing up, hoping that the movements seem connected. “Well, I’m going to go make myself presentable for the day,” he says stretching this arms above his head and mimicking a yawn. “See you in the Hall… And thanks again, Zavala.”

Zavala barely manages to respond before Cayde has swept across the room and slipped out the door, reminding the Titan once again just how quickly Hunters can move when they choose.

 

* * *

 

When Zavala reaches the Hall, he’s surprised to find that Cayde has beaten him there and has apparently already accomplished a good deal of work if the pile of reviewed reports is anything to go by.

“Hey, Zavala! Just the person I wanted to see!” Cayde calls out before Zavala has even reached the final flight of stairs. He continues without even waiting for a response, “Got some intel. A new Servitor has been spotted on-and-off out in the Cosmodrome. We think it’s a Prime. Got a Hunter watching for a pattern in the arrivals. Need you to form a fireteam to be ready to strike when it pops up again.”

A data pad with relevant information is thrust against Zavala’s chestplate, and he only just has time to grab it before Cayde has released it and is walking backwards up the stairs and out of the Hall.

“Anyone seen Shaxx? I think he’s on break but I’ve got an idea,” Cayde doesn’t wait long enough for a response. “You know what, I’ll find him. Be back!”

The Hall of the Guardians is silent for several moments.

“He’s been like this since he got here this morning. I don’t know what you did, but he’s nowhere _near_ falling asleep on his feet anymore,” Ikora Rey says, amusement thick in her voice.

“What have I unleashed?” Zavala asks, taking the opportunity to make a rare joke.

Ikora laughs softly as the Titan Vanguard takes his customary place at the table. “It has been a long time since Cayde has seemed so energetic. Your Ghost said that he came to speak to you, but did not elaborate. Did he tell you why he was so exhausted?” the Warlock asks quietly so that no others in the Hall can overhear easily.

Fully aware that Ikora recognizes that Cayde did in fact reveal his reasons, Zavala knows better than to try to hide it. “He did, but it was in confidence. I fear I cannot discuss it without his permission,” he replies.

Ikora hums, her gaze flicking back to the stairway that their exo member had disappeared beyond. “No, I suppose not. Still, I will not deny being immensely curious. Can you at least tell me how he wound up ‘trapping you,’ as your Ghost put it?”

Zavala considers this, and he eventually decides that he will not be revealing anything that the Warlock would not deduce on her own. “If I had attempted to leave, I would have risked waking Cayde before he’d gotten as much rest as possible. My Ghost elected not to wake me so that Cayde could continue to sleep,” he explains. None of it a lie, but certainly not the full truth that the two Vanguard had shared a bed and Cayde had wound up sleeping partially atop the Titan.

At that moment, Cayde jogs back into the Hall. “So he did _not_ appreciate me tracking him down on his break. One hundred percent do not recommend doing that. I’m going to have a dent for days,” he complains, but he doesn’t not seem particularly bothered by that fact. He picks up a new data pad, quickly reads its contents, and summons his Ghost. “Hey, call this guardian for me, would you? This is exactly the intel I was hoping for. Got an engram for them- a Warlock, right?”

“Yes, Cayde. Will you slow down? You’re going to blow a circuit,” his Ghost teases, but it’s partially a warning as well.

“Oh ha ha ha. Chop chop with the message, glow stick.”


	4. Run-Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cayde's embarrassed and can't bring himself to ask if he can share Zavala's bed again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adult Cayde is nowhere to be seen

Cayde’s newly rediscovered energy lasts for two weeks.

Then, Ikora and Zavala start to see the signs of decline again. It takes longer and longer for Cayde to sift through reports, he begins zoning out in the middle of conversations, and he has to resort to fidgeting.

Nearly a month passes before Cayde is falling asleep while standing again.

This time, it’s Ikora who finds the exo haunting the Tower in the small hours of the morning.

Cayde is seated at the only bar that’s still open, but the bartender is clearly getting ready to close and is only serving the Hunter out of generosity.

“Greetings, Vanguard,” the bartender says, and that prompts Cayde to turn to see exactly who’s approaching.

The Hunter Vanguard almost wilts, downing his drink in one go. “Hey there,” he greets, signaling for another round. “What has you up at this hour, Ikora?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Couldn’t sleep. Your turn.”

Ikora takes a seat next to Cayde. “I could not sleep either, but this is not as common for me as it is for you. Cayde, what is going on?”

Cayde studies his glass, downing it before he elects to respond. “Zavala didn’t tell you?”

“He told me that you came to him,” Ikora begins, politely shaking her head when the bartender wordlessly offers her a drink. “But that what you’d discussed was ‘confidential.’”

That surprises the Hunter, and he turns to Ikora with wide optics. “He seriously didn’t spill the beans?”

Ikora raises a brow. “You expected him to betray your trust?”

“Huh? What? No! I mean, I didn’t, but I’m kinda surprised he didn’t tell you just because… well…. you two are closer than he and I are,” Cayde backtracks a bit. “I didn’t expect him to tell you, but I wouldn’t have been surprised either.”

“Would you have been angry if he had?”

Cayde considers this for a bit. “‘Angry?’ No. Embarrassed as hell? Yes.”

Ikora studies the exo. “You should not let embarrassment doom you to exhaustion, Cayde. If you are uncomfortable speaking with me, you should go back to Zavala. I do not know what made you able to sleep after you spoke with him, but you were much more like yourself afterwards. Do not let awkwardness stop you from reclaiming that.”

“You’re probably right,” Cayde admits, sighing loudly as he scrubs one gloved hand across his face. “You should go sleep, Ikora.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” the Warlock deadpans.

Cayde huffs out a humorless laugh, “Yeah. I guess it is. Look. I’ll…. I’ll talk to Zavala again tomorrow. No offense, but I’ve already demolished my reputation with him. I’d rather not do the same with you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Cayde has resorted to pacing early the next morning so that he can remain awake long enough to read a report, but then he trips. He’s so exhausted that he barely manages to stay on his feet, and the Hall of the Guardians is awkwardly quiet once he’s recovered. “Tripping over my own big feet,” he jokes, not noticing Zavala’s approach.

“Meeting. Now,” the Titan growls, ushering Cayde-6 out of the Hall and toward the lifts that take Guardians down to the living quarters.

“Hey hey!” Cayde protests as he practically dragged along. “Easy! What gives?”

“I honestly didn’t think you would let it get this bad again,” Zavala says in frustration as they quickly approach his quarters. He may have chosen Cayde’s own room if the Vanguard hadn’t insisted on having a room buried deep within the Tower. Zavala unlocks his door, and easily pushes the exo through despite his attempt at clinging to and wedging himself in the door frame.

Finding himself suddenly locked in Zavala’s quarters, Cayde smiles. “Careful, people might get the wrong idea if they see you dragging me off for-“

“Enough,” Zavala snaps, and the exo falls silent. “What on Earth are you thinking? You aren’t helping anyone by refusing to rest, least of all yourself.”

Cayde’s optics flare brightly. “At least I still _am_ myself!” he hisses angrily, glaring at the Titan.

“And why do you seem to think that exhausting yourself is better than asking for help? Why can’t you be a well-rested Cayde-6 instead of pushing yourself until you feel that you have no option but to become Cayde-7?”

The Hunter mutters something, so quietly that Zavala would never have known he’d spoken without the exo’s lights giving him away. “You just won’t let this go, will you?” he sighs at a more audible volume.

“I do not intend to, no,” Zavala says, and he waits for Cayde to glance up at him before he continues. “For all intents and purposes the Vanguard are a fireteam. Fireteams rely on one another.”

“Don’t pull the fireteam card on me,” Cayde snaps. “You know full well Hunters work well on our own.”

“That is true, but I also know that you can work exceptionally well with a team when the situation calls for it. If ever there were a time, this is it. What is really the problem here?”

Cayde grinds his mouth plates together, recalling how he’d swallowed his pride that night he’d come to Zavala in the first place. He isn’t quite as desperately exhausted this time, but he’s even closer to deciding to reboot now than he was a month ago.

And, hell, he’d promised Ikora he’d talk to Zavala again. He’s just upset that it hadn’t been on his terms.

“I’m embarrassed, alright?” he finally admits to the Titan with a static-laced huff. “That was the best sleep I’ve had in ages, and I was half on top of you. Did you really expect me to go ‘hey, would you mind letting me sleep in your bed again? Oh, by the way, I may end up cuddling you. Hope you don’t mind?’”

“I thought I made it clear that I did not mind so long as it meant that you were able to get meaningful rest,” Zavala responds. “And I know I expressed my willingness for a repeat should it be requested.”

Cayde tenses. “You did.”

“And, though you are not requesting it, I believe a repeat is necessary. You cannot carry on this way. At the very least I believe you should search out another person with whom you can rest.”

Cayde glares at the wall for several tense moments. “You’re right,” he finally bites out. “Look…. Fine. Can I… come here to sleep tonight?”

“Of course, Cayde.”

The exo sighs, forcing his frame to relax before he slips around Zavala and unlocks the door. “Great, it’s a date! See you tonight,” he says with a smile and wink, hoping to have Zavala feel some of the awkwardness he himself is experiencing before he opens the door and slips out of the Titan Vanguard’s quarters and escapes back to the relative safety of the Hall of the Guardians.

 

* * *

 

It’s mid-afternoon and his optics keep flickering in an attempt to power down, but Cayde blinks rapidly and forces them to remain online. He shifts, hoping the bit of movement will keep him awake but just appear to be born of restlessness. The Future War Cult’s recruitment manager is upset enough without the Hunter Vanguard falling asleep right in front of her.

“Okay, I can see why you’re upset,” Cayde begins. “But, there is a policy to remove all advertisement materials over 30 days old that have not been updated. It’s been that way for decades.”

“It was Dead Orbit! Then they put their _propaganda_ up in the place of our recruitment poster.”

Cayde rubs at the edge of one of his optics, getting frustrated. “Dead Orbit chose to put their ad up in the new empty space. Yours had been up for 30 days without an update, and it was flagged for removal. You’ll just have to find a new location to put up a new poster for the F.W.C., okay? You didn’t own that space for permanent advertisement.”

“You aren’t listening to me!” the representative shouts. “Future War Cult has claimed that space for years! Dead Orbit stole it-“

“Cayde!” the Vanguard’s Ghost appears before him. “Ikora Rey has called for you, and she says it’s an emergency!”

“But-“

“Sorry,” Cayde apologizes to the stunned awoken as he begins quickly backing away. “Got to heed the call. Dead Orbit was within their rights though. I’m sure you’ll be able to find a new ad space!” he calls as he turns and hurries out of the hangar and back toward the Hall.

He reaches the Hall to find it as calm as ever, and he realizes that the “emergency” was a ruse to allow the exo to escape from the irate faction member. “Ikora, I love you.”

The Warlock smiles, “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Of course not,” he agrees, flattening his hands against the table and leaning heavily on it. “Still, thanks.”

“Thank me by getting some rest, Cayde.”

Cayde hangs his head with a sigh, “Yeah, I’m on it.” The exo pushes away from the table to begin his now-customary pacing, taking a scouting report with him. “Did you see the news from Io? Vex look like they’re making a push against the Cabal again. Think they’ll accomplish anything this time?”

 

* * *

 

Cayde is standing at Zavala’s door. His hand is raised to knock, but he just can’t bring himself to rap his knuckles against the steel yet. He’s already asked if he can crash here. He’s already gotten permission. He’s even already admitted that he’s probably going to end up in contact with Zavala through the course of the night. So why does knocking on the door feel like the point of no return?

Cayde’s motion tracker flashes briefly, and someone knocks on the very door he’s standing in front of. The exo has just enough time to realize that one of his own Hunters had just invisibly knocked on the door for him while he’d been wrapped up in his own thoughts. “Hey!” he calls, hearing a quiet whoosh of fabric as the cloaked Hunter disappears around the corner.

The door opens in front of him, and Cayde forgets all about the betrayal.

“Cayde,” Zavala greets him, stepping aside to allow the exo into his quarters once again.

“Uh… Hey, Zavala. Didn’t think you’d still be up,” Cayde says awkwardly as he steps inside the room.

“I was waiting for you, and I was curious how long you were going to stand outside my door before finally knocking.”

Cayde blinks. Of course Zavala knew. The Titan’s Ghost had probably announced his presence as soon as he’d entered the hallway nearly an hour ago. “I was practicing my statue impersonation. Impressed?”

Zavala sighs, unsurprised that the Hunter Vanguard would choose to resort to jokes rather than just admit that he’s nervous. “Quite,” he intones. “It is late, and you are much overdue for some rest.”

Cayde trails after Zavala toward the bed, and he circles to the side he’d occupied last time. “You sure you don’t mind? I can-“

“I do not mind,” Zavala interrupts the Hunter as he lies down and gathers his blankets around himself. “Besides, even if I did, I’d say it was a small price to pay if it means that you feel more like yourself.”

Acknowledging that with a small grunt, Cayde-6 gingerly lies himself down on his back once more. This time he’s sure to put more distance between himself and the Titan even though he suspects it will not matter by morning. “I’ll try not to make us late this time.”

“Sleep, Cayde.”

The exo’s optics flicker, but he forces them to stay online a bit longer. He crosses his ankles and interlocks his fingers over his chest. “Feel free to shove me off,” he slurs as his frame insists on sleep and begins powering down.

Zavala doesn’t have the heart to tell him that he hadn’t even known Cayde had moved the first time until he’d woken up naturally. Even when asleep the Hunter is stealthy. He just hums in response, and the exo finally allows his optics to fade offline. Soon, Cayde is snoring quietly next to him and dimly illuminating the room with soft flashes from his mouth, and Zavala silently wishes for the exhausted Vanguard to have dreamless, restful sleep.


	5. I Dare You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cayde and Zavala butt heads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short and to the point.....it just fit better short somehow???? I'm telling you, this is the most I've written in YEARS so chapters are...pretty new to me

This time when Cayde wakes up, he’s immediately aware that he’s shifted potions and is once again sprawled atop of Zavala. Still, he allows himself to indulge in the contact while his systems finish booting. The Titan is warm, and it’s hard to resist when touching the man apparently banishes his dreams of the past.

Sure it’s embarrassing, but the dreamless rest and the lack of unwanted memory recall makes it worth it. Maybe he won’t take so long to ask for a repeat next time.

Carefully, the exo lifts himself off of Zavala. He waits to make sure he hasn’t woken the Titan, and then climbs off of the bed. He silently crosses the room and slips out of the door, making sure that it locks again behind him.

Cayde finally checks the time, and he’s surprised to find that it’s 5:00 am. That means that he slept nearly seven hours. “Good grief,” the Hunter groans, scrubbing his face with his hands. He’s unaccustomed to sleeping that long at any point. At least this time he’s avoided the awkward confrontation with Zavala while they’re both awake.

With nothing else to do, Cayde-6 makes his way toward the Hall of the Guardians. He’s sure some of his Hunters have turned in reports during their sleepless nights that he can begin to sift through.

 

* * *

 

Barely able to contain his newfound energy, Cayde-6 takes every opportunity to get outside of the Hall as his shift wears on. A message needs to be sent to Rahool? Cayde runs outside to deliver it personally. One of the techs working on a fritzing computer yawned? Cayde finds the nearest coffee shop and delivers a cup to her.

“Will you slow down?” the exo’s Ghost finally huffs.

“No can do,” Cayde refuses quickly. “You didn’t wake me up so I overslept and now here we are. All of you must suffer an energetic Cayde.”

“Traveler protect us,” Ikora says teasingly. “Though it is good to see you so lively. I’m glad you took my advice.”

“You say that _now_ , but this energy could last a while,” the exo warns. “You know, I bet I could get it out of my systems if-“

“You cannot leave the Tower, Cayde,” Zavala sighs, knowing exactly what the Hunter was going to suggest.

“Just like, an hour,” Cayde bargains. “I could just pop on over to the Cosmodrome. It’s nice and close.”

“The Vanguard are needed here.”

Cayde lets out a long line of frustrated static as he stares up at the ceiling.

Ikora smiles, and Zavala even allows himself a smirk while the exo isn’t looking.

“C’mon! I’m dyin’ here! I’m reading reports as fast as they come in. I’ve sent Guardiants out to refresh all the supply caches. No fireteams are on any critical missions. Cindy has coffee so she can repair at peak efficiency. Would it really be so bad for me to be gone for an hour?” Cayde asks. “Just imagine it… An entire hour of quiet. No complaining from little old me about being cooped up.”

Zavala pinches the bridge of his nose. “The Vanguard do not leave the Tower. We cannot go gallivanting about whenever the urge strikes us.”

“No, we can’t, otherwise I’d _never_ be here. One hour. That’s all I’m asking,” Cayde-6 presses. “I promise I’ll be more tolerable when I get back.”

“Your definition of ‘tolerable’ is quite different from mine,” the Titan retorts.

The exo throws his hands up, “Fine! I’ll just be insufferable here.”

“Just another ordinary day, then?”

Cayde grinds his jaws almost to the point of sparking as he swallows his frustration, and it’s satisfying to see everyone within earshot cringe at the sound of screeching metal. Zavala can go from seeming to be a concerned friend to a barely-tolerable boss in the space of minutes. Cayde has been itching to return to the wilds, and having this much energy with no outlet is torture. An hour. That’s all he wanted.

“Hey,” Cayde grunts, summoning his Ghost. “Pull up my Hunter roster, would you?”

“Certainly. Which subclass or specialty?” the Ghost asks as he connects to Cayde’s personal data pad.

“All of them.”

“I can help you sort through if you’ll just tell me what mission-“

“Just do it,” he bites out. He’s got thousands of names and files to review, but he has to do this on his own.

A Ghost can’t help find a suitable candidate for the Vanguard Dare.


	6. Shoving Match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cayde knew he couldn't trust his Ghost with a secret. He means well, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short one....... *shrugs*

“Cayde, please!” the exo’s Ghost begs. “You’re exhausted, and I can’t heal that. Please go see Zavala so you can rest.”

“No, I’m not going to him.”

“But you need sleep.”

Cayde flinches. Now, weeks after he’d last given in and shared Zavala’s bed, he’s plagued with memory flashes and thoughts of the Crypt even while awake. Sleeping would be agony. “No.”

The Ghost falls silent, and Cayde continues pacing in his room and reviewing Hunters’ files. The exo hears the soft sound of Ghost transmatting away, and he grunts at the now empty room.

He hasn’t had any luck finding a Hunter suitable for the job yet. A couple had looked promising until he’d seen that they have a record of repeatedly abandoning fireteams if things aren’t going well. A Hunter Vanguard who does that wouldn’t be much better than Cayde himself right now.

But, Cayde reasons, he’s been Vanguard for longer than most Hunters handle the job. They just aren’t meant to be cooped up.

Which is exactly why he’s angry with Zavala. The man convinces the Hunter to rest, then won’t let him find an outlet for the resulting energy?

“Asshole.”

Cayde bumps into the corner of his bed, and he stumbles. He manages to catch himself on the wall, and his voice box clicks in an aborted attempt to shout in frustration.

Exhausted physically and mentally, Cayde lets his frame slide down the wall until he’s curled up against it on the floor. He wonders if he’d ever been this tired at the Crypt. How long had he even been there? Would he have had enough time to rest?

A warm bowl of soup appears in front of him as he coughs. A person encourages him to eat up. The man nods, eyes dull and lids heavy. He eats the soup, chewing the soft potatoes and licking the salty chicken broth from his lips. He’s warm now, and so very tired. His entire body aches. They help him lie down and pull a blanket up-

Cayde gasps as his awareness slams back into his frame huddled on the floor of his room in the Tower. He buries his face in his hands as sobs build up and begin to spill from his voice box.

“Cayde!”

The exo flinches at the voice. Even though he can’t shed tears, his vision wavers as he turns to find Ikora in his room. Cayde’s Ghost hovers at her side just long enough to take in his Guardian’s state, then he rushes to his side.

The Ghost checks for injury, but finds none. He gives Ikora a helpless look. At a loss for alternatives, the Ghost had traveled directly to Ikora’s room and told her everything in the hopes that she could help. He knows Cayde will be upset, but he feels he’s exhausted his options.

Ikora had been surprised to see Cayde’s Ghost, but had listened intently as he had condensed events for her, ending with the fact that Cayde is too angry with Zavala to get rest with him. She’s very glad she’d allowed the Ghost to transmat her directly to the exo. He looks horribly shaken by what she suspects is another memory purge. “Cayde,” she tries again, softer this time. “What happened?”

Cayde chokes on the words, static the only sound he can make on his first attempt. Looking away, he tries again, “Get out.” His voice is small and wavering, but audible.

Ikora is quiet for a moment before she approaches the Hunter. “No,” she refuses softly. “You need rest.”

“Get out!” Cayde shouts, but his voice is still weak.

“No,” she repeats, kneeling beside Cayde. “I had no idea,” she whispers as she wraps her arms around the exo. He goes stiff in her arms for a moment, but eventually sags and leans against her. It had been painfully obvious that something was causing the Hunter to lose sleep, but she’d never suspected it was something so dire. The exo’s Ghost had told her that he suspects Cayde’s obsessive review of Hunter files is so that he can find a replacement in the Vanguard and reboot himself. “That you could be pushed to this…” she wonders aloud before she hugs Cayde more tightly.

He knows he should be making Ikora leave. He should be shouting at his Ghost. He _definitely_ shouldn’t be leaning onto the Warlock. But…. he’s just so tired. “It’s been an ongoing shoving match,” he manages to force out through his uncooperative speakers.

“Will you sleep if I remain here?” she asks softly, stroking the Hunter’s plating.

With a shaky sigh, Cayde nods reluctantly. He shifts his weight off of Ikora so she can stand, but she lifts him up along with her. “Always forget how strong you are,” he mutters as he’s led stumbling to his bed.

“I have to be strong to take care of the large metal children around here,” Ikora teases fondly as she guides the exo down onto the bed.

Cayde’s mouth flashes with a tired laugh as he flops onto his mattress, “Point taken.” He blinks slowly. “You don’t have to stay-“

“I want to,” Ikora interrupts him. She wishes that it hadn’t come down to his Ghost having to request her help against Cayde’s wishes, but she wants to help the exo recover so that he will remain Cayde-6 for as long as possible. She lies down facing him and puts an arm over his chest. “You need to sleep. We _need you_ to sleep. We don’t want Cayde-7.”

“So everyone keeps telling me,” he mumbles, speech slurring as his systems begin to shut down. Before he loses consciousness entirely, he brings a hand up to rest on Ikora’s arm. “Thanks…”


	7. Shore Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cayde gets a much-needed break from Tower life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns* one more chapter after this

“We should let him go.”

Zavala looks up, surprised by Ikora’s words. “Cayde?” he asks. The exo has barely shown up for duty shifts, but his work has managed be completed over the past weeks nevertheless.

“ _Yes_ Cayde. He’s a Hunter,” Ikora replies as if that explains everything. “We can handle things here while he’s gone.”

The Titan glances around to be sure no one else is in the room. “You _do_ recall that that’s exactly how Andal was lost, don’t you? The moment we leave the Tower we become a target, and Cayde has never been one to back down from a challenge.”

Ikora is quiet for a moment. She remembers all-too-well that Andal had been chafing under Tower confinement and had wheedled his way into a vacation. It hadn’t seemed like he’d been gone for very long before they received reports that he and his Ghost had been lost. “Of course I remember,” she snaps, glaring at the man. “I’ve supported your decision that the Vanguard should not leave the Tower until now, but you know he’s self-destructing. He’s either exhausting himself to avoid dreams, or he’s bouncing off these walls. He needs a break.”

“We cannot take that risk,” Zavala insists. “With no Hunter in line for Vanguard, we cannot lose Cayde.”

“We’re already losing him,” Ikora nearly shouts. “Replacement or not, Cayde will choose to reboot if we don’t do something.”

“And you believe allowing him to travel the system freely will solve the problem? You and I both know that he will find the first challenging opponent he can and throw himself into battle. If he is in a Dark Sector-“

“I’m going with him.”

The Titan’s mouth hangs open even though he doesn’t finish speaking his thought.

Ikora’s brows furrow, determination rising within her, “I am going with him. We will avoid Dark Sectors, but we are going.”

“You cannot be serious-“

“Absolutely,” Ikora states, her tone leaving no room for misinterpretation. “The Tower is quiet and we are leaving. You know how to reach us if any true emergencies occur, but they had better be _true emergencies_.”

Zavala knows better than to argue, but he wishes that he could as he watches Ikora Rey turn on her heel and exit the room.

 

* * *

 

Gritting her teeth, Ikora makes her way toward one of Cayde’s favorite hiding spots. She’d spent the night with him the previous night, so she knows that he is well-rested enough to venture out into hostile territory. It will be good for him, despite what Zavala believes.

She reaches the Lounge quickly, and spots the Hunter sprawled out atop a shelf with one leg resting over the other’s knee. A foot is tapping to some unknown song. “Cayde, I need you to do something for me.”

Cayde turns to look at her, clearly interested. “I’m listening.”

“I need you to promise me, _swear_ to me, that you will stay with me and take no risks.”

“Uh…. Come again?” the exo asks, sitting upright to pay closer attention to the Warlock.

“We are going to the Cosmodrome, but _only_ if you agree to remain by my side and stay _away_ from Dark Sectors. Am I clear?”

Cayde nearly vibrates with excitement as he leaps from his perch. “Are you kidding? Because you shouldn’t mess with a guy like that,” he says, voice strangled.

“No jokes, Cayde.”

“Hot damn what are we waiting for?!”

“Promise me.”

Cayde blinks, forgetting for a moment what Ikora wanted. “I swear I will stick with you and we will kick some ass far away from Dark Sectors. Nothing crazy. Well, maybe a little crazy, but nothing Ghosts can’t handle.”

Ikora nods, “That’s close enough. Come, I will unlock your ship if you will do the same for mine.”

“Done and done!” Cayde shouts, sprinting from the Lounge. It takes one Vanguard to release another’s ship from lockdown, and he almost skids into Amanda he runs so fast. “Hey, unlock Ikora Rey’s ship? Pretty please?”

Amanda Holiday frowns, “You can’t take her ship, Cayde. You know the rules.”

Cayde waves his hands in the air. “Yeah yeah, I know that, but she’s unlocking mine once she finally gets here. Less chatty more unlocky.”

Still skeptical, Amanda releases Ikora’s ship. “What’s the emergency?”

“Cosmodrome!”

Ikora arrives, having hurried in her own excitement as well. “No emergency,” she corrects. “Please unlock Cayde’s ship, Ms. Holiday.”

“There’s going to be an emergency soon! If we don’t get this party started my power core’s gonna melt down,” Cayde claims, bouncing on his feet while they impatiently wait for their ships to arrive for transmat.

Cayde’s arrives first, and he sprints for it. “Vacation!!” he shouts as his Ghost transmats him aboard.

Ikora is about to board her own before she hesitates. “Unlock Zavala’s as well, Amanda,” she requests. Ikora doubts that Zavala will leave the Tower, but he should have the option to join them in the Cosmodrome if he so chooses.

“Got it. Have fun. You two have earned it. And uh… Watch out for Cayde?”

“I will. Thank you, Amanda,” Ikora smiles before she boards her own ship. She and Cayde sync their ships for fireteam navigation, and Ikora inputs the coordinates for the standard Cosmodrome landing site. “Where to first, Cayde?” she asks as their ships break atmosphere and begin circling the Earth for a more direct approach vector.

“I was hoping either the Divide or Rocketyard. Maybe we’ll get lucky and the Fallen will drop a tank in.”

“Cayde,” the Warlock admonishes. “No risks, remember?”

“What? That’s nowhere close to a Dark Sector! Besides, those tanks are always dilapidated by the time the Fallen decide to drop them in a backwater like the Divide. That’s where we send new Guardians to cut their teeth, remember? I think two members of the Vanguard can handle whatever we find.”

 

* * *

 

“I am the king of this land!” Cayde shouts from atop a building, hoisting his new engram high above his head. “Kneel before me!”

A small group of Hunters humor the exo and throw in some bowing as well. The remaining Guardians who’d gathered as word that the two Vanguards were in the Cosmodrome had spread seem a little confused by his antics.

“Yeah, that’s right,” the exo beams at his Hunters. “You guys know how to get on my good side. Drinks on me! Hey, you, Titan in the back judging me. Yeah no drinks for you.”

The Hunters laugh, happy (if confused) to see their Vanguard out and about and having a blast. It’s a bonus that he salvaged an exotic engram by helping end a Taken threat.

Ikora hadn’t intended for them to become involved in such a fight, but they were still far away from any Dark Sectors, and there were nearly ten Guardians in the area to help. Besides, Cayde’s excitement the moment he’d heard the screeching wail that announced the Taken arrival had been infectious.

The day is growing late, however, so Ikora waits until the Guardians scatter to search for more enemies and loot before she jumps up to join Cayde on the rooftop. “We should return to the Tower so that you can have Rahool decrypt that for you,” she suggests.

Cayde’s optics dim a bit. “Aww but mom,” he pouts, receiving only a raised eyebrow from the Warlock. “Yeah, alright. I… I had fun today though. I needed this. Thanks, Ikora.”

“I believe I needed this as well. Perhaps not quite so much as you, but I have been cooped up in the Tower for far too long. It has been nice to see things from the ground again.”

“And don’t forget the loot,” Cayde says, waggling the plates that make up his brows.

Ikora smiles, remember the legendary engrams she’s picked up over the course of the day. “Yes, that is nice as well. Come,” she says, summoning her Ghost. “Let’s return to the Tower.”

“Hey,” Cayde says, stopping her from immediately pulling them back to their ships waiting for them in orbit. “Can we… do this again sometime?”

Considering this for a moment, Ikora nods. “I do not believe we should make a frequent habit of it, but I do not see why we cannot make it a… tradition.”

“Yes!” Cayde punches the air in victory with one hand, still cradling his exotic engram in the other arm. “Ok, we can go now."

 

* * *

 

Cayde and Ikora land smoothly at the Tower, and Cayde materializes holding his engram aloft for all to see. They make their way to Master Rahool. The Guardians who are already gathered around the awoken step aside for the approaching vanguard, and Ikora nods her thanks and presents her engrams to the man.

“I’d heard rumors that you two were outside the Tower, but I didn’t believe them. Did you have fun in the wilds?” the Cryptarch asks.

“I believe we did,” Ikora smiles.

The Cryptarch takes the engrams and deposits the items directly into the Warlock’s inventory. “Looks like some interesting items there, Ikora.”

“Thank you, Master Rahool,” she says, stepping aside for Cayde.

Cayde steps up, cradling his brightly shining golden engram. He almost hands it over, but yanks it back at the last moment. “Wait! Oh man it’s been so long since I’ve held one of these. I need a second,” he says, imitating the sound of a sharp exhale. He turns to Ikora, smiling. “A kiss for luck?”

Ikora rolls her eyes, but she leans in to kiss the exo’s cheek. “Good luck.”

Cayde practically beams, bouncing on his feet. “Yes! Okay, I’m ready,” he says, passing the engram to Rahool.

The Cryptarch takes it and frowns in concentration. “Interesting.”

Cayde’s fingers twitch when silence reigns for sever long moments. Every Guardian gathered around is holding their breath as Rahool works to decode the engram. “Well?” the exo asks finally, voice filled with static from the tension. “What is it?”

“Something I’ve never encountered before. A sidearm named Rat King.”

Everyone begins murmuring. It’s been years since a new exotic weapon has been uncovered. “What does it do? Give?” Cayde asks, holding out his hands.

Master Rahool passes the weapon to Cayde’s waiting hands. Its grip is wrapped in red while the barrel sports detailed carvings of rodents. “It will turn you briefly invisible if you reload the weapon immediately after slaying an enemy. No elemental damage though, I’m afraid.”

“Invisibility sidearm?” Cayde asks, sounding strangled. “This is the best day ever!” he shouts over the immediate roar of shocked and excited Guardians around him as he holds the weapon up triumphantly. “When I leave the Tower, I bring back some sweet loot! Be sure to let our Titan Vanguard know, and feel free to tell him that I’m always right, too. It’ll be good for him to hear.”

The two Vanguards reluctantly extract themselves from the crowd, waving off a few Warlocks and Hunters who want to learn more about their newly acquired gear.

“Well hello there, Zavala,” Cayde greets cheerfully. He’d been angry at the Titan lately, but his trip to the Cosmodrome and the resulting exotic weaponry have lifted his mood.

“Did we miss anything that we should know about?” Ikora asks

“Nothing,” Zavala admits.

“Huh, imagine that. Well you sure missed something. We destroyed a Fallen Walker _and_ stopped a Taken invasion,” the exo boasts, spinning the Rat King around a finger. “Not to mention I became the king of the Cosmodrome.”


	8. Good to be Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cayde does a little catching up with his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter...!!!

Amanda rakes over her new pile of glimmer, smiling. “Pretty soon you’re going to run out of glimmer- _besides_ what you owe me,” she teases.

Cayde sighs as he watches his friend haul away his salary. “Who says I’m not already out?”

“You’ve always got another grand or so when you say you’re out. One more hand? I’ve been wanting to repaint my sparrow,” she goads.

“You’re evil,” the exo says, resting his elbows on the table. “One more.”

“That what I like to hear!” Amanda cheers, dealing the cards. For the past few months, Cayde has still played cards with her, but it’s been seeming like a method to distract himself more than any real source of enjoyment. Tonight though, her old buddy seems to be enjoying getting the pants beat off of him like he used to. She lays the remains of the deck between them, and lifts her cards to begin forming her plan of attack. Cayde mirrors her, his optics whirring as he thinks. “Cayde?” she asks quietly, discarding two and drawing replacements from the deck. The exo hums, looking up at her. “It’s good to have you back.”

The smile- the most genuine she’s seen on his face in months- almost makes Amanda decide to let him win this hand.

Almost.

“It’s good to be back,” he replies softly as he discards three.

Ah hell, what’s the harm in letting him win one hand? Got to give him hope so he’ll keep coming back, after all.

 

* * *

 

As much as he hates to admit it, Ikora had been completely correct.

In the days and weeks following their excursion into the wilds, Cayde is much more content with his position as the Hunter Vanguard. He’s been getting restful sleep on his own, and he’s all but stopped asking Guardians to “take him with them” when they visit the exo.

He certainly isn’t pushing himself to exhaustion.

That’s why Zavala was so surprised to find Cayde waiting for him at the door to his quarters. “Hey,” Cayde greets him, still leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

“Cayde,” Zavala nods, opening his door and gesturing for the exo to enter first. “Something on your mind?”

“I’ve been thinkin’,” Cayde says, waiting for Zavala to close the door to continue. “You’ve been in this Tower for centuries. How do you handle it?”

“I suspect you already know the answer to that. Titans are very different from Hunters.”

Cayde shakes his head, “That’s true, but even Ikora enjoyed getting out of here. I’m thinkin’ that maybe, just maybe, you’ve been in here so long that you don’t remember what it’s like to _be_ the boots on the ground.”

“That’s ridiculous. Of course I remember,” Zavala insists.

“Do you? Look, I’m not saying that you have to take me with you- please, take me with you- but I am saying that I think you should get out for a bit. Ikora and I had _fun_ out there, Zavala. Maybe you should too, is all I’m sayin’. Hell if you don’t want to have fun, then just say you’re observing some Guardians in the field or something.”

Zavala frowns, “I do not need to leave the Tower, Cayde.”

“And that’s all the more reason that you should! You’ve been in here so long that you don’t even see a reason to leave. The fresh air will do wonders for you.”

“You do not even have lungs. How would you know?”

“You know what I mean,” Cayde snaps. “The way I see it, everyone else can at least go see the City. Every other Guardian can go anywhere in the system. Why can’t we get out every once in a while? Get our boots dirty?”

“I do not see how that would be beneficial for me or the Tower.”

The exo releases a burst of static that was probably supposed to be a sigh, “Alright, suit yourself. But hey, now that I’ve got you angry, can I crash here?”

“I am not angry, but you may. I did not realize that you were so tired,” Zavala replies.

“I’m not,” Cayde answers honestly. “But last night wasn’t so great and I’d like to nip it in the bud if I can.”

“Of course, Cayde. Do you,” Zavala stops himself, hesitant to finish his question. He realizes quickly though that, now that he’s begun to ask, the exo will wheedle him to finish. Zavala clears his throat, “Do you feel that this is a viable option for you long-term?”

Cayde considers for a moment, tilting his head back and forth as he does. “At least for now I think so,” he shrugs. “That little vacation didn’t hurt either though.”

“No, I imagine it didn’t. Although I do not see the benefit of myself leaving the Tower… I can see that it has helped you greatly,” Zavala admits, steeling himself. “I am sorry that I denied you that freedom for so long.”

Optics wide, they flare white before quickly dimming as the exo brings the back of his hand up to his forehead. He sways for a bit and then crumples down to the floor in a very convincing imitation of a faint.

 

* * *

 

“Cayde!”

The Hunter stops, looking back over his shoulder to see Banshee walking quickly to catch up with him. “Hey buddy. What’s up?” Cayde asks.

The Gunsmith glances around and apparently decides that this walkway is too populated. He grasps Cayde’s arm and pulls him down an adjacent path that is devoid of others. “Are you ok?” he asks, searching his friend’s face and keeping his grip on the other exo.

Cayde blinks, surprised. “Yeah, why?”

“Not long ago you were so exhausted that it was obvious you were dreaming. Then you just….stopped. You aren’t-“

“Woah woah woah, let me stop you there,” Cayde interrupts. “Look, I was having a rough patch, not gonna lie. Dreaming…. Well, I was dreaming damn near every time I tried to sleep.” Banshee’s grip on his arm tightens. “ _But_ ,” Cayde continues. “I found a method to sleep that keeps them at bay. I’ve been getting good sleep, and I know you heard about Ikora and me going to the Cosmodrome a bit back. It’s all good, but thanks for checking on me.”

Banshee is satisfied enough to release his friend’s arm. “You aren’t considering a reboot anymore, right?”

“No,” Cayde answers honestly. “Not anymore. I’m all good, buddy. I promise. Hey, you busy? That little place we like has a Tuesday special.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *confetti*  
> thank you for reading this oh my gosh?????????? you're wonderful!


End file.
